Why Are You Telling Me This #3: Death

February 15, 2012

I swear – I work with the craziest people.  Today, the topic has shifted from Love to Death.  Seriously, death, funerals, and life insurance.  Why are you telling about what you want after you die?

First of All, when you die, you are dead.  You truly have no influence on what your family does to you.  Just because you say, “do this!” — doesn’t mean they are going to do it.  Second of all, I don’t need life insurance right now.  Quit telling me to get it.  I need to do things like pay rent – you know, something that helps me out when I am ALIVE.  Third, if you want to be cremated, why would you tell your family to rent a coffin for your viewing?  What kind of sense does that make?

Why? Why? WHY are you telling me about your death?!  I don’t even like you… I probably won’t go to your funeral.  I don’t want to know the particulars of your will.  I am probably already dead, anyway, because this is hell.