Why Are You Telling Me This #2: Valentine Haters

February 14, 2012

I spent the day listening to other people (aka, only women) bitch about they don’t have a date/boyfriend/valentine.  Not my problem, people.

Valentines Day is the same as any Disney Movie, completely made up just to inspire a fake notation of romance.  You want a dude to sweep you off your feet?  You should just be content if he actually sweeps. (Cough:: Or takes that giant pile of recycling out:: Cough)  True Romance is not one day of flowers and a fancy dinner.  True Romance is being able to call up your person and say, “There is a piece of glass in my foot, can you come help me get it out?” And having them drop everything, rush home, and take out the speck of glass that you claimed was a giant shard, and they STILL feel bad that the peroxide, that they are about pour over your nasty foot that has walked thirty blocks in sweaty shoes, may sting.

So why are you telling me what my dude should be doing for me?  What we do for Valentines Day is our business… and please keep what you are doing your business, too.  Going to a singles mixer?  Going to cry your eyes out to The Notebook? Gonna go out on the prowl?  Keep it to yourself… I will not be attending your pity party.